mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
