You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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