Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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