Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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