It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Randomize
