You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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