I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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