In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize