But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
