your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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