I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize