she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
