I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
