I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm going to jail i love you
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
