when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
