so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
