so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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