it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
