the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
