I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize