Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize