This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
