in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
