yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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