Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
