I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
