i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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