i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
