I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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