Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
