She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
