I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
