Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
