if i can run in heels then i can drive
The beer is more important than you right now.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
