SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
