Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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