Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
