I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
