At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
