Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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