As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
