If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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