And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Found the puke drawer
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
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