I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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