there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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