I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize