Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
