But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
How does one acquire holy water?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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