I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
