i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize