and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
