Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
