we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize