areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
