Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
