Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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