Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
