he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
pop tarts are not kleenex
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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