Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
