fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
