The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
