turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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