Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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