As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
