absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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