Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
