woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize