I think I won the penis lottery.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
All the doctor said was why
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize