did you get engaged???
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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