would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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