do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize